Reflections on Proverbs 10, Wisdom, Speech, and the Kind of Person We Are Becoming
I was reading Book of Proverbs chapter 10 because I saw a verse quoted in one of Howard Partridge’s books. It was Proverbs 10:22, and the NIV translation was used:
“The blessing of the Lord brings wealth,
without painful toil for it.”
That wording caught my attention because it lands very differently than most other translations.
Here are several other versions:
“It is the blessing of the Lord that makes rich,
And He adds no sorrow to it.” — NASB
“The blessing of the Lord makes rich,
and he adds no sorrow with it.” — ESV
“The Lord’s blessing makes a person rich,
and no trouble is added to it.” — CEB
The NIV almost sounds like God blesses us with wealth and we don’t really have to work hard for it. Like prosperity simply arrives effortlessly from heaven.
But the other translations land on me differently.
They sound more like this:
What we already have becomes richer when we receive it as a blessing from God. And the blessings of God do not cost us our peace, our integrity, our family, or our soul.
There are riches that come with anxiety.
Riches that come with emptiness.
Riches that come with isolation.
Riches that cost us relationships.
But the blessings of God do not hollow us out in the process.
As we honor God with our lives, His blessings become visible everywhere.
That thought sent me back to the beginning of the chapter where another verse puzzled me:
“The skilled mind accepts commands,
but a foolish talker is ruined.”
Proverbs 10:8
As I kept reading, I noticed something interesting.
Much of Proverbs 10 centers around speech.
The chapter repeatedly uses words like:
- mouth
- lips
- speech
- tongue
- talk
And over and over the chapter separates people into one of two categories:
The wise and the foolish.
Then a simple idea started emerging from nearly all of these verses:
The wise are teachable.
The foolish do not listen.
In many of these proverbs, fools are constantly babbling. They use words, or even silence, to hide their intentions, protect their ego, manipulate others, or defend themselves.
The wise, meanwhile, know when to remain silent so they can learn. And when they do speak, their words heal, guide, and bring life.
A skilled mind is not necessarily a more intelligent mind. It is a mind that has learned humility.
A wise person has learned to say:
- I might have something to learn here.
- I have been wrong before.
- I do not know everything.
- I have blind spots others can see more clearly than I can.
But the fool:
- talks more than listens,
- resists correction,
- believes confidence equals wisdom,
- uses words to protect ego rather than seek truth.
And Proverbs says this eventually leads to ruin because reality eventually catches up to us.
A person who cannot receive instruction:
- repeats mistakes,
- damages relationships,
- misses opportunities,
- creates conflict,
- isolates themselves from wisdom.
I think humility is the dividing line.
People who genuinely listen and consider what they are hearing tend to shift attention away from themselves and toward others. They care about how they affect people. They are teachable because they are not obsessed with protecting their image.
But prideful people constantly orbit themselves.
They interrupt.
They dominate conversations.
They talk down to others.
They use flattery to manipulate.
They speak from ego instead of love.
You can see this pattern all throughout scripture.
Moses is teachable.
David repents when confronted.
The Pharisees constantly defend themselves and are offended by Jesus Christ.
Jesus repeatedly says:
“He who has ears to hear, let him hear.”
The tragedy of the fool in biblical wisdom is not lack of intelligence. It is refusal to receive.
A modern paraphrase might sound like this:
A wise person can be coached. A fool talks himself into destruction.
Or maybe:
Growth begins when listening becomes more important than defending yourself.
Honestly, it is exhausting being around fools.
There is no joy in it because fools are takers, not givers. Conversations with them feel performative and empty because they are always trying to manage appearances.
But conversations with wise people feel real. They are open to truth. They are present. You feel heard.
Then Proverbs 10:11 takes the whole idea even deeper:
“The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,
but the mouth of the wicked conceals violence.”
I love that it uses the word “mouth” instead of merely “speech,” because a mouth can speak or remain silent.
The righteous know when to do both depending on what will be most loving and helpful for the other person.
And the wicked do both as well.
They use words or silence to conceal the violence in their heart.
Sometimes violence does not look like screaming rage.
Sometimes it looks like:
- manipulation,
- gossip,
- sarcasm,
- humiliation,
- passive aggression,
- withholding truth,
- controlling conversations,
- using vulnerability against people later.
The mouth reveals the heart.
That idea appears again later in scripture:
“Those who guard their mouths and their tongues
guard themselves from trouble.”
— Proverbs 21:23
And then James writes:
“For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to rein in the whole body as well.”
— James 3:2
It would seem both writers discovered the same truth:
If you want to mature spiritually, learn to control your speech.
We used to have a saying in my company:
All problems are communication problems.
Whenever a customer was unhappy, almost every issue could have been prevented through better communication.
Setting expectations.
Following through.
Calling if we were running late.
Explaining clearly.
Listening carefully.
Almost every problem traced back to communication.
And honestly, the more I think about it, the more I realize that is not just true in business.
It is true in life.
What makes one relationship healthier than another?
Communication.
Feeling understood.
Feeling safe enough to be vulnerable.
Feeling heard without defensiveness.
Healthy relationships are built where openness is received with grace instead of criticism.
But when communication becomes manipulative, defensive, accusatory, or transactional, relationships slowly begin to die.
You simply cannot have great relationships with poor communication.
And apologies reveal this clearly.
An apology spoken from love sounds completely different than one spoken merely to get an apology in return.
One wants healing.
The other wants leverage.
That difference matters.
Jesus says:
“For his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart.”
— Gospel of Luke 6:45
My words do not create who I am.
They reveal who I am.
We all know people with “no filter.”
They say whatever enters their mind and almost wear their bluntness like a badge of honor. They often call it honesty, but many times it is simply a lack of love, self-control, or wisdom.
I remember watching the TV show House.
House was brilliant, but rude, cold, and emotionally careless. The show was entertaining because his honesty cut through nonsense, but it also revealed something ugly:
Truth without love destroys relationships.
House was lonely.
He lived in pain.
He had no deep relationships because relationships are not built on truth alone.
Truth matters deeply. But scripture says it must be spoken in love.
“Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
— Epistle to the Ephesians 4:15
That verse is about community. About relationships. About the body of Christ.
Truth should not be avoided. But truth spoken without love becomes cruelty.
So before I speak, maybe I should ask:
- Is this loving?
- Is this necessary?
- Is this something Jesus would say?
- Why do I want to say this?
- Is it for their good, or mine?
- Will this person be able to receive it from me?
This is difficult work.
I understand why James says the person who controls their tongue is perfect.
Love should be the filter for everything:
- my jokes,
- my instructions,
- my frustrations,
- my opinions,
- my social media posts,
- my criticisms,
- my conversations.
Every word should pass through the filter of love.
And if it is not loving, I should probably let it die before it leaves my mouth.