2 Samuel 6:1-5, 12b-19
Michal despised David. The wife of a king, God’s appointed king, she despised him! What is going on? Why did she despise David her husband?
David again gathered all the chosen men of Israel, thirty thousand. David and all the people with him set out and went from Baale-judah, to bring up from there the ark of God, which is called by the name of the Lord of hosts who is enthroned on the cherubim. They carried the ark of God on a new cart, and brought it out of the house of Abinadab, which was on the hill. Uzzah and Ahio, the sons of Abinadab, were driving the new cart with the ark of God; and Ahio went in front of the ark. David and all the house of Israel were dancing before the Lord with all their might, with songs and lyres and harps and tambourines and castanets and cymbals.
So David went and brought up the ark of God from the house of Obed-edom to the city of David with rejoicing; and when those who bore the ark of the Lord had gone six paces, he sacrificed an ox and a fatling. David danced before the Lord with all his might; David was girded with a linen ephod. So David and all the house of Israel brought up the ark of the Lord with shouting, and with the sound of the trumpet.
Looking Down On The King
As the ark of the Lord came into the city of David, Michal daughter of Saul looked out of the window, and saw King David leaping and dancing before the Lord; and she despised him in her heart.
They brought in the ark of the Lord, and set it in its place, inside the tent that David had pitched for it; and David offered burnt offerings and offerings of well-being before the Lord. When David had finished offering the burnt offerings and the offerings of well-being, he blessed the people in the name of the Lord of hosts, and distributed food among all the people, the whole multitude of Israel, both men and women, to each a cake of bread, a portion of meat, and a cake of raisins. Then all the people went back to their homes.
Love Hate Relationships
There is so much historical ground covered in this passage and yet what intrigues me the most is Michal. The first time I read this passage I had conflicting thoughts and emotions swirling through me. I could relate to her reaction and yet I couldn’t quite understand it at the same time. I have despised someone that I once loved and I am still in a relationship with and I have been despised by someone who once loved me.
As the owner of a business, I had employees that started out singing my praises and ended up wanting to dance on my grave. And I’ve had women that I fell head over heels in love with but when I saw how easily they give themselves away for the attention of men, I despised them. And I admit, that is small of me to feel hurt because I was nothing special to them when I thought I was, but the more you love someone, the more you despise them when they hurt you.
It’s Complicated
For a while I was part of an exclusive religious organization and we had our own AA group. While I was not an alcoholic, I came from that background and I was assigned to sponsor several guys. I think Michal’s reaction was like many of the wives of the guys in the group. Michal didn’t plead for David to change. She didn’t want to have a conversation with him about her feelings. I think she was done and this was a long time coming. There is more than just this moment that is part of what is going on with Michal. Perhaps she was jealous of David’s unashamed freedom to dance before the Lord. Perhaps she knew that she was a prize given to David for slaying Goliath and meant nothing more to him. Maybe she resented having to come second to almost everything in David’s life. And this moment, as she is literally looking down on David, is the last straw.
So King David has in his mind that he is going to bring the Ark of the Covenant back. And he is successful in his mission. He gets so caught up in the celebration, he seems to forget that he is king and joins in with the people in dancing and celebrating to the point that it is inappropriate. His wife is angry and lets him know. I know from doing a bit of research on this event, many would say that David was dancing before the Lord and Michal was not spiritual and that is why she despised him. But without judging anyone’s motives, lets not forget the fact that David committed adultery and murder all in the same week. He was not a saint and just because he says he is dancing for the Lord, doesn’t mean that Michal isn’t right for calling him out on his inappropriate behavior. He could still dance for the Lord and keep on the garments that distinguish him as king.
David was a great king, and even better warrior, a songwriter and had a deep passion and faith for God but was a horrible husband and father. The lost scriptures had to be re-written from oral accounts after the Babylonian captivity and they put a heroic spin on David. No doubt he was a great warrior and held deep faith in God but they don’t even try to paint him as a good father and husband. So I think that what is going on in that verse is the “moment of the last straw”. At that moment Michal realizes that she is done with him. She hit the point where she could care less about him and being his wife or being anything to him. Much like many of the wives of husbands with an addiction problem. Michal doesn’t want to talk with him and straighten things out. She is gone. And rightly so.
20 And David returned to bless his household. But Michal the daughter of Saul came out to meet David, and said, “How the king of Israel honored himself today, uncovering himself today before the eyes of his servants’ maids, as one of the vulgar fellows shamelessly uncovers himself!” 21 And David said to Michal, “It was before the Lord, who chose me above your father, and above all his house, to appoint me as prince over Israel, the people of the Lord—and I will make merry before the Lord. 22 I will make myself yet more contemptible than this, and I will be abased in your[h] eyes; but by the maids of whom you have spoken, by them I shall be held in honor.” 23 And Michal the daughter of Saul had no child to the day of her death.
Behind Closed Doors
So we get a glimpse into the fight they had. Her voice dripping with sarcasm. She is not afraid to speak her mind to the king. She is the daughter of a king and she knows that kings can be a bit full of themselves. David, who never loved her, is now done too. Their marriage was a political one. David is too much of a romantic to give himself to a political marriage. He points out the fact that God chose him to be the king, not her father(OUCH!). And that her father’s line, despite the promise he made him, ends here! My knee-jerk reaction is that David wouldn’t break a promise made to Saul before God! But then again, he had Uriah(who had more honor than him) killed. David slept with Uriah’s wife, got her pregnant and when his plan to cover it up didn’t work, he killed Uriah. David, like all of us, was not anything close to perfect.
Where do I put all this anger?!
David took the low road that day. He broke a promise he made to Saul. Disgraced himself and his wife. He cut her off from his love. In his pride, he wouldn’t admit she was right and that he messed up. I feel bad for her. Had he been humble, we might be reading a story with a different ending. But he was not. He was a jerk that day. A lot of people have had a bad experience at the hands of a religious leader whom they trusted and that person took advantage of them. When confronted they wouldn’t admit they were wrong. They just threw their weight around. Filled with anger and disillusionment and nowhere else to go, we throw the blame on God.
But God is way more than willing and capable of taking on our pain and false accusations. God’s love will outlast our pain. I believe Michal was probably angry at God because of David’s duplicity. But despite David’s humanness, like all of us, she is responsible for how she handles things. And I believe God’s love for her will outlast her pain and anger and rejection because in the end, every knee will bow. Not because God takes away our free will and bends our knees for us, but out of our own free will, we let go of our hurt and pride and we bow before the everlasting love of God.