Is it possible to have discipline without goals?
People often tell me that I am disciplined. I always appreciate hearing that and I always feel a little bit like I’m getting away with something. Most people don’t see me when I am being lazy and unproductive. What they see is that I work out consistently, I get up early, I use to own and run a business and I like planning my day and week. It is easy to see that as discipline. To some extent it is. But all of that is really the result of trying to achieve my goals.
When I owned and ran a business, I realized that some of the things that I learned for business helped me not just do a better job of running my business but they helped me do a better job of running my life. Something that I came to realize that has permeated every area of my life is how setting goals is crucial to achieving the life we want to live. Goal setting is not just for high achievers. I by no means consider myself a high achiever. Goal setting is what needs to be done for anyone to set their life in the direction that they want it to go. I discovered that just like me, my employees had goals: Buy a house, get married, have $X in their bank account, take a certain kind of vacation… So I set time aside every year in January to teach everyone the things that I learned about setting goals. It was so much fun because we all knew what each other wanted out of life and began helping and reminding each other of what we were shooting for. Well I enjoyed it so much that I organized everything into a course because I want to teach this to high schoolers. I wish someone taught me this stuff when I was that age.
Here is an analogy I find helpful. Goals are a destination. If we are going to go somewhere that we have never been before, we have to know a few things.
- Where we are right now
- Where is it that we are going
- When do we need to arrive
- How long will it take to get there
- What vehicle will we be using to get there
- What we need for the trip
Okay so I’ll use a common goal as an example: I want to lose 20 pounds. So first thing we need to know is how much we way – where we are right now. You can’t GPS anything without a current location. So we know where we are going. We are 200 pounds and we want to weigh 180. Next, by when do we want to be there. This is the point that things start getting real. Put a date on your goal. If your goal is to weigh 180 by next week, you’re going to fail. If your goal is to lose 20 pounds in a month, you might do it but you will gain it right back. So your goal to lose 20 pounds may be the thing that makes you realize you want to live in a body that is 20 pounds lighter. There is a difference. So maybe there is a beach trip coming up in 3 months and you want to be able to feel good walking on the beach with just a bathing suit on. So now we know when we are going to arrive and the how long it will take to get there depends on the vehicle we are going to take. I can fly somewhere and it may take 3 hours or I can drive and it will take 2-3 days. The vehicle we take makes a big difference. You can not eat and probably lose the 20 pounds in just a few weeks. But if your goal is to live your life in a body that is 20 pounds lighter and stay there, you can take a longer way but all that you learn along the way helps you sustain your new weight.
So you map it out, 3 months Xs 7 pounds per month and I will hit my goal with an extra pound to spare! Since this is the first time you’re taking this trip, expect some unexpected things to happen that might slow you down. No trip ever goes as planned. So consider what you might need for the trip. You might need a personal trainer. You might need a heart monitor. There are several great apps for tracking your calories and daily food intake. You might need to join a gym. Set yourself up so that when you hit some roadblocks, you have what you need to overcome and still get to your destination on time. And you know what, if you get there later than planned…so what! You still got there.
So the question in the sub-header: Is it possible to have discipline without goals. To me, that’s like taking a trip without a destination in mind. Yeah you’re driving and going somewhere but for what? I like to define discipline as not engaging in activities that don’t help you reach your goal. So going back to the trip example: If I live in New York and I have to be Florida tomorrow, I have to fly and I am not going to get to see all the things that I would like to see that lie between here and there. It is my goal that dictates what I need to do to reach it. So for example, if my goal is to take my kids to Disney when they are 8 & 10 years old, that goal is going to make decisions for me on how much money I need to make, and how much money I need to save. If they are 6 & 8 years old right now, that fact is making decisions for me on whether I can go out to eat 2 xs a week, keep driving the car I have verses getting a new one, have a stay-cation this year. My goals make those decisions for me. So if discipline is the behavior of engaging only in activities that help me reach my goals, how can I have discipline if I don’t have goals. If I am only taking life as it comes, then getting up early, staying fit, saving money, or whatever is just my unimaginative routine no better than someone who’s routine is to oversleep, over eat and watch TV all night.
