If anyone says, “I love God,” but hates his brother, he is a liar; for whoever does not love a brother whom he has seen cannot love God whom he has not seen. 1John 4:20
Jesus replied: “`Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. ‘ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: `Love your neighbor as yourself. Matthew 22:37-39
Loving our neighbor is loving God. But what about loving ourselves? That is such a weird question, I know? But if you’re like me, it has probably popped up in your head from time to time and you’re not sure how to answer it. We are told to “lose our life”. We are told to, “deny ourselves”, “carry our cross”, “consider others better than ourselves”. None of that seems to leave a whole lot of room for “self love”. But hating ourselves seems wrong! God doesn’t hate Himself. Jesus didn’t hate Himself. God is love! and Jesus is God in the flesh.
God obviously loves Himself. Not in a vain or selfish way. What I wonder is if developing virtue is “self love”. I tend to think of developing virtue as a good idea and we should be trying to do that but what if that is another way of loving God and loving who God made us to be. Patience, kindness, courage, etc. are all ways that we show love to others. So developing virtue strengthens our ability to love others. But it also nourishes our soul. I say that because I think of how self-destructive it is to be impatient, unkind, cowardly etc. When I have to live with my conscience that knows the truth about who I am, I can’t think of a better way to show self love than to be the best person I can be. When I am a jerk and I’m not even trying, I have to carry around this heavy conscience and I am embarrassed about who I am.
Virtue is one way that I can be moving towards who God created me to be. But I am unique and all of us are unique. There are gifts and talents that I have that God installed in me and as a result I can serve others in unique ways. Having the courage to be who God created me to be and walk the path that God is leading me down is another way of loving God. In a world that defines success for us. In a culture that exalts consumerism, where bigger is better: house, car, boat, bank account etc., it takes courage to go against that and seek God in the small still voice. the church has bought into that definition of success as well. Bigger church buildings, bigger programs, huge memberships its a model that follows the pattern of the world. I like to open space that allows us to explore the wide array of possibilities that we could invest ourselves in find God mulitiplying our efforts to serve the needs of others.
To discover this, I have to ask myself, “What do I love doing?” That is a hard question to answer. But what do I truly love doing? What can I find myself losing track of time when I do? What do I jump at the chance to do for others? What do other people really appreciate that I do for them? Not being afraid to live out what I am good at, what I am called to do, when it doesn’t fit the model of success that the world would rather me pursue, is loving God. It is saying, “Lord, I trust you. You gave me this talent and you have given me this opportunity to use it. Thank you.”
We can’t all be mother Theresa. In fact, it may be even more significant if the calling we believe we are to pursue leads us down a path of obscurity. If we are engaging the gifts that God gave us in ways that serve others, then that is all that is needed to say “Lord I love you. Thank you. I will do my best to take care of the gifts you have given me.”
